Here we are again, dear Ms. Linmey. I always love reading your posts. Being unable to get around easily has put me mostly in touch with my friends online.
I think the most important thing you brought up was not blaming anyone but yourself. That has been a major concern regarding my life. I cannot and will not blame anyone for anything or any decisions I've made. By now I've lost as many friends through death as I have by relocating quite often. Looking for some online has been mostly a failure.
Since moving to California I've met only one person who became my friend 22 years ago and is still my best friend. Everyone else is online, most as delightful as you.
Jo, this is such a lovely and poignant piece. And I value my connection to you, through Tanya. You always have something to bring to the journalling sessions and I always find your writing so thought provoking and authentic. I think you are right to acknowledge and honour your grief, when you are ready, I am sure there are many new connections waiting for you, and your gorgeous dogs xxx
I replied to you and it disappeared. I am so glad I have met you and love our journaling sessions with Tanya. I am so pleased that you are writing on Substack I love your posts. 😘😘
Jo, I don't think you ever need to apologise for cancelling social engagements because of the grief you feel. It's so important to acknowledge, accept and I feel most importantly honour your grief/feelings. Be with people when you feel able to and be alone when you need to be. I spoke to a recently widowed friend recently and she said she doesn't enjoy her own company and would never go for a walk on her own. I'm happy being alone (even though I'm married!) and I love going for a walk by myself. One of my best friends moved to Australia 13 years ago, yet our connection in our hearts never changes. She came over to the UK for a visit last year and we spent 3 days together. Our friendship felt as strong as ever and despite hardly ever seeing her in person, we love each other dearly. Take care of you ❤️ xx
Wonderful podcast recommendation Jo! Thank you. Christmas is a very low key event here in Spain....a hurried dinner at 10 pm on Christmas Eve before midnight mass with indigestion....blink and you´ve missed it. Christmas Day itself is akin to our Boxing Day. A non-event. I always feel very short-changed but New Year´s Eve is a firm fixture with family in Spain which really does solve the headache of finding a party or gathering to go to, whereby you´re yawning your way to midnight and taking stock of all the resolutions still pending for the incoming year! We get together all 50 of us and eat grapes on the 12 strokes of midnight. Then the young slink off to their respective parties from about 1 am. It´s the best of both worlds. Finally, just when you´ve had enough of tinsel...and are about to take down the deccies, the REAL seasonal highlight happens on 6th Jan when the Three Kings arrive bearing gifts. It does drag oooooooooooonnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnn.....
Oh Jo, what a post! I don't know where to start, maybe with your beautiful dogs who I didn't know you had, I know it may sound a bit weird but I am so happy you have them in your life, they such invaluable companions. I was glad to read you have got a few plans for Christmas as I was getting worried you were going to be alone and was going to ask you here then I panicked as I realised I haven't got a spare bed and Freddie would have something to say about sharing his turkey with Bonnie and Mildred. It is wonderful you feel able to express your feelings on here, it must be healthier than keeping it all in and I am sure your true friends will still be there for you when you are ready to start being sociable again. In your own time, lovely lady. I lost my dad in quite traumatic circumstances over Christmas 2021 so Christmas is still not the joyful occasion it once was for me, although I do try to remember all the extremely happy Christmases we had together which is a comfort. Since then I haven't spoken to my brother so I have lost a connection there but there are times when toxic relationships really do serve no purpose at all apart from stress and anger so I have come to terms with that loss, although I do find it sad. People poo-poo social media sometimes but I have always found it a wonderful way of connecting with people I am delighted we bumped into each other on here. The song from Toy Story comes to mind "You've got a friend in me." ❤️
Thank you Lindsey, for such a beautiful response Lindsey, yes my dogs have got me through the last few years. I have two black labs - Mildred pictured and Humphrey, long story why there are two but both beautiful and loving. Bonnie the French Bulldog is my son’s but very loving and fitted in with the other two,
I am lucky I have very good friends that I see regularly, those connections are very important. As I we grow older I think we realise how important they are, but that we don’t have to be so intense as we were when we were younger.
I am so sorry about your father and your brother, losses affect our feelings about Christmas. For me I am happy, not entirely ignoring it.p, but letting it pass me by. I will watch Its a Wonderful Life and The Holiday, cook the turkey, I won’t dampen other people’s spirits or joy. Christmas if for families, particularly with children.
Your thought about asking me for Christmas genuinely made me cry. It was such a beautiful thought. Freddie would also have to share his dinner with Humphrey another black lab. But Mildred amd Bonnie would eat a 10kg bird on their own 😂😂
When the weather warms up we will definitely have to meet up. If that is ok with you. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Jo, I’m sorry I left out Humphrey! Freddie is absolutely fine with other dogs when he is out but he wouldn't let one share his sofa. The Holiday has become a favourite with me too so I will think of you when I'm watching it this year. And I would love to meet up sometime, that would be more than lovely, let’s not forget it in the New Year. ❤️
Lovely, Jo, and just what I needed to read after a bummer of an afternoon.
Grief wasn't a good friend today. Most days it is but I suspect I must have pushed it away when I should have pulled it toward me. I've always maintained one should make friends with grief as its a gentler path that way. Today, I didn't listen to my own words. One lives and learns.
I agree entirely about making friends with grief. It won’t make happy but it helps to understand and be kind to yourself. It is an important emotion that needs to be acknowledged.
As far as lovely dogs Bonnie decided to do runner to the pub this morning to see my son. He would have been up a roof at the time. Luckily two lovely road workers heard me shouting and one of their words rugby tackled her and brought her home safely. 😘🤣
A very poignant piece, Jo and I hope you find your way through the maze of what can be a very difficult time of the year. Good friends are worth their weight in gold. I don’t make friends easily or quickly. But when I do connect with someone, I cherish their friendship and make sure that I foster the relationship. Real connections are worth fighting for.
I have real trouble maintaining relationships, but did something completely out of character and invited a friend to lunch. That day is today - the menu is not a big deal (homemade soup) and it’s only a lunchbreak during the work day - but the fact we’re doing it is a pretty big deal for me! Looking forward to this different kind of connection. Haven’t had non-family round for years - and I mean years. ❤️
Here we are again, dear Ms. Linmey. I always love reading your posts. Being unable to get around easily has put me mostly in touch with my friends online.
I think the most important thing you brought up was not blaming anyone but yourself. That has been a major concern regarding my life. I cannot and will not blame anyone for anything or any decisions I've made. By now I've lost as many friends through death as I have by relocating quite often. Looking for some online has been mostly a failure.
Since moving to California I've met only one person who became my friend 22 years ago and is still my best friend. Everyone else is online, most as delightful as you.
That's all I have for today. Stay you!
Richard
Thank you Richard you are friend who has stayed with me for a long time. I always value your comments 😘😘
Jo, this is such a lovely and poignant piece. And I value my connection to you, through Tanya. You always have something to bring to the journalling sessions and I always find your writing so thought provoking and authentic. I think you are right to acknowledge and honour your grief, when you are ready, I am sure there are many new connections waiting for you, and your gorgeous dogs xxx
I replied to you and it disappeared. I am so glad I have met you and love our journaling sessions with Tanya. I am so pleased that you are writing on Substack I love your posts. 😘😘
Jo, I don't think you ever need to apologise for cancelling social engagements because of the grief you feel. It's so important to acknowledge, accept and I feel most importantly honour your grief/feelings. Be with people when you feel able to and be alone when you need to be. I spoke to a recently widowed friend recently and she said she doesn't enjoy her own company and would never go for a walk on her own. I'm happy being alone (even though I'm married!) and I love going for a walk by myself. One of my best friends moved to Australia 13 years ago, yet our connection in our hearts never changes. She came over to the UK for a visit last year and we spent 3 days together. Our friendship felt as strong as ever and despite hardly ever seeing her in person, we love each other dearly. Take care of you ❤️ xx
Thank you Karen. Your comments are always thoughtful and to helpful. Grief is a very odd beast 😘😘
Wonderful podcast recommendation Jo! Thank you. Christmas is a very low key event here in Spain....a hurried dinner at 10 pm on Christmas Eve before midnight mass with indigestion....blink and you´ve missed it. Christmas Day itself is akin to our Boxing Day. A non-event. I always feel very short-changed but New Year´s Eve is a firm fixture with family in Spain which really does solve the headache of finding a party or gathering to go to, whereby you´re yawning your way to midnight and taking stock of all the resolutions still pending for the incoming year! We get together all 50 of us and eat grapes on the 12 strokes of midnight. Then the young slink off to their respective parties from about 1 am. It´s the best of both worlds. Finally, just when you´ve had enough of tinsel...and are about to take down the deccies, the REAL seasonal highlight happens on 6th Jan when the Three Kings arrive bearing gifts. It does drag oooooooooooonnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnn.....
The Spanish certainly know how to party 😁 have a festive season and enjoy the rest in February 😁😊😘
Beautiful words here, Jo. Glad to have connected briefly through Tanya's session this week ☺️✒️
Thank you Lauren it’s lovely to connect 😘😘
Oh Jo, what a post! I don't know where to start, maybe with your beautiful dogs who I didn't know you had, I know it may sound a bit weird but I am so happy you have them in your life, they such invaluable companions. I was glad to read you have got a few plans for Christmas as I was getting worried you were going to be alone and was going to ask you here then I panicked as I realised I haven't got a spare bed and Freddie would have something to say about sharing his turkey with Bonnie and Mildred. It is wonderful you feel able to express your feelings on here, it must be healthier than keeping it all in and I am sure your true friends will still be there for you when you are ready to start being sociable again. In your own time, lovely lady. I lost my dad in quite traumatic circumstances over Christmas 2021 so Christmas is still not the joyful occasion it once was for me, although I do try to remember all the extremely happy Christmases we had together which is a comfort. Since then I haven't spoken to my brother so I have lost a connection there but there are times when toxic relationships really do serve no purpose at all apart from stress and anger so I have come to terms with that loss, although I do find it sad. People poo-poo social media sometimes but I have always found it a wonderful way of connecting with people I am delighted we bumped into each other on here. The song from Toy Story comes to mind "You've got a friend in me." ❤️
Thank you Lindsey, for such a beautiful response Lindsey, yes my dogs have got me through the last few years. I have two black labs - Mildred pictured and Humphrey, long story why there are two but both beautiful and loving. Bonnie the French Bulldog is my son’s but very loving and fitted in with the other two,
I am lucky I have very good friends that I see regularly, those connections are very important. As I we grow older I think we realise how important they are, but that we don’t have to be so intense as we were when we were younger.
I am so sorry about your father and your brother, losses affect our feelings about Christmas. For me I am happy, not entirely ignoring it.p, but letting it pass me by. I will watch Its a Wonderful Life and The Holiday, cook the turkey, I won’t dampen other people’s spirits or joy. Christmas if for families, particularly with children.
Your thought about asking me for Christmas genuinely made me cry. It was such a beautiful thought. Freddie would also have to share his dinner with Humphrey another black lab. But Mildred amd Bonnie would eat a 10kg bird on their own 😂😂
When the weather warms up we will definitely have to meet up. If that is ok with you. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Jo, I’m sorry I left out Humphrey! Freddie is absolutely fine with other dogs when he is out but he wouldn't let one share his sofa. The Holiday has become a favourite with me too so I will think of you when I'm watching it this year. And I would love to meet up sometime, that would be more than lovely, let’s not forget it in the New Year. ❤️
Lovely, Jo, and just what I needed to read after a bummer of an afternoon.
Grief wasn't a good friend today. Most days it is but I suspect I must have pushed it away when I should have pulled it toward me. I've always maintained one should make friends with grief as its a gentler path that way. Today, I didn't listen to my own words. One lives and learns.
Beautiful dogs by the way!
I agree entirely about making friends with grief. It won’t make happy but it helps to understand and be kind to yourself. It is an important emotion that needs to be acknowledged.
As far as lovely dogs Bonnie decided to do runner to the pub this morning to see my son. He would have been up a roof at the time. Luckily two lovely road workers heard me shouting and one of their words rugby tackled her and brought her home safely. 😘🤣
Do you want to let me borrow her for a few weeks?
I would jump at the chance unfortunately, George, my son would not be so keen. 😘😁
A very poignant piece, Jo and I hope you find your way through the maze of what can be a very difficult time of the year. Good friends are worth their weight in gold. I don’t make friends easily or quickly. But when I do connect with someone, I cherish their friendship and make sure that I foster the relationship. Real connections are worth fighting for.
I agree entirely about real connections being worth fighting for, another thing you learn as you grow old. 😘😘
Definitely! 💕
Such a thought-provoking post, Jo!
I have real trouble maintaining relationships, but did something completely out of character and invited a friend to lunch. That day is today - the menu is not a big deal (homemade soup) and it’s only a lunchbreak during the work day - but the fact we’re doing it is a pretty big deal for me! Looking forward to this different kind of connection. Haven’t had non-family round for years - and I mean years. ❤️
What a lovely idea Rebecca. Hopefully it will be the first of many ❤️😘
It was so nice to see her right here at home. We’re going to do it again soon! x