Follow up to living your best life

The barriers, opportunities and bad times …

Living our best life in Barcelona 8 years ago, good memories photo by me

No repeat cheats this week and back in my usual Monday spot with a brand new post leading on from last weeks. Even I started contemplating more on what living my best life means, and how I should improve.

Last week was a very busy and fulfilling week for me. It was beautifully sociable, creative and a week that felt almost like my previous existence, or previous existences, I have lived multiple ones. I could go down the rabbit 🐇 hole and get all caught up in the discarded carrot 🥕 tops trying to explain existence - I’ll leave it for another day. I’ll just say the last week made life feel more stable after the existential crises that have hit over the last 7 years. It made me realise my priorities, even if they will change, and a few other things. My friends and family are so important. I should not feel guilty about enjoying a morning totally engrossed in painting. Taking time away from my writing my memoir is a good thing, there is no pressure it is my project, one that has had its ups and downs, generally I am proud of the third draft, it will not hurt others and it tells my story and most importantly John and Sarah’s. There is only a minuscule chance of getting published, however I am a writer I have written a whole book.

The downside of being so busy is making me realise that I need to put myself, and the dogs on training regimes. Sorry Humphrey you are the most beautiful dog and well behaved outdoors, indoors you are far too excitable when other people come in. Mildred stop winding Humphrey up by barking and hitting him on the bum with your paw. Bonnie you need to address your eating absolutely everything and being so wilful, even 10kgs of a squirming if difficult to pick up. I would challenge myself to reporting progress on the canine training regimes over the coming weeks/months/years, but little 🐖 with curly tails just flew past the window. Update Humphrey got 8/10 this morning. Took him down the field and mainly lose lead on the way back & recall good in the field.

Enough dogs back to my training regime, the exercise, healthy eating and drinking wagon. I lost a load of weight a few years ago and unfortunately put most of it back on, not all but enough to start feeling unhealthy again. Therefore, more exercise, eating more healthy foods, drinking much more water etc. I know I could procrastinate by trying to find the best diet, research, order healthy cooking books and spend countless hours reading. However, I know the answer - go back to what worked in the past both the 5:2 diet and noom’s daily weighing and tips. I need to organise, plan the route and put effort into pushing the wagon forward.

Living our best lives will always include unexpected twists, turns, blocked roads and sometimes dreadful life changing crashes which can increase as we get older, that’s life. There are times when living the best live means we cry, rage, experience BLS - my brown leather chair syndrome when I can’t get up. I realise looking back I lived the best life I could at the time.

Always remember it is ok to not be ok, living your best life does NOT include hiding the difficult times and bad feelings. In order to live your best life the one thing the last 7 years has taught me includes getting through the really dreadful times your way.

There also psychical and psychological barriers that stop us from living our best lives. Mine is psychological - London.

Grief Diversion.

One reason for explaining my BIG barrier to living my best life again, is to show others we each have things in our lives that seem stupid or even ridiculous, hurdles that block our paths. Mine is London, the hurdle is getting smaller in my psyche, yet still feels too tall for my short fat legs to clamber over.

I grew up in London from the age of 10, I spent the first years of my married life in London, Sarah lived in London and both John & Sarah were Londoners through and through. I loved London and even when I left I/we were there at least once a month sometimes weekly. I have not been there since Sarah’s funeral 4 years ago. I just have not been able to get on a train and go. I know it is about letting go the guilt I carry over Sarah’s death and not being able to visit her.

I know what great things there are to do in London and how much I would enjoy them. That’s the problem it feels disloyal to John and Sarah, it was our world together. The tears have started as I write, so I know I am right. It is ridiculous they would not want me to be like this, they would me to be out there being me, yet our emotions run deep and illogically. As I write this paragraph there is a spark of punching that hurdle down - my legs will never be able to jump over it - getting the dogs sorted, buying the ticket. I am not sure if I need to plan or just do it.

I have no conclusions today other than I am living Jo Linney’s life my way. You live yours your way and don’t worry about changing directions.

Prompts

What psychological barriers exist on your life and mind? We all have them, big ones or little ones.

Can you do anything about them? Or

Have you learnt to be at peace with them?

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