The little things in an old life …

They matter even when you’re younger ….

We often get carried away with thinking we have to do BIG things to make ourselves feel fulfilled, even as we grow older. Things such as running a marathon, a six month world cruise, publishing a book, painting a landscape and entering Landscape Artist of the Year, being the best at everything we do. Does it really matter.

Patricia Cusack

wrote a brilliant post this week 15 Good Things No One Tells You About Aging, a list to remember and enjoy, I agree with them all except sweating I certainly do down the rabbit 🐇 warren. One important one on the list is

We don’t care so much about what other people think of us.

Is this what drives us to achieve big things during our earlier years? Even as we age we still want to achieve things in our lives, sometimes the BIG things, however, it’s the little things that often bring the greatest pleasure. Thinking about this, I would add two things to Patricia’s list. Firstly, enjoying the process of trying to achieve becomes important and secondly, having the luxury of being able to chose how to spend my the time. I realise that it gets very frustrating to those who are younger and juggling balls that cannot be dropped - not good to drop a baby on its head, or drop the office laptop in the middle of the road - when us old retired people say “I don’t have any time I am so busy.” However, I chose how to spend my time, which balls to juggle and it really doesn’t matter if I drop a few. I can walk away and leave the balls in the road for any passing hounds.

What do I mean? I am unlikely to publish my memoir, yet I am enjoying the process of writing, telling mine, John and Sarah’s story on the page and sometimes publishing bits here. I have achieved my first draft and am working on my second. I am unlikely to achieve thousands of readers on my Substack, or even 1,000, yet I get a real buzz from pressing continue and sending the old curmudgeon ramblings out to the world knowing some of my readers will press the heart and even comment. I have achieved a slow cooker of a Substack. It is something I have achieved in my old age, big ✔️. There are voluntary things I spend my time doing that I care passionately about but I can say stop if they get too much. I have achieved being a listening volunteer. I am unlikely to ave a painting angling in Courtauld, as the winner of Landscape Artist of the Year will, but each week at art class I enjoy achieving a painting, it maybe garbage most weeks but I achieved it.

Time allows me the ability to sit quietly in the sun and watch the birds in the garden, regardless of the season, to achieve peace. Only problem with this one is that the sun seems to have gone awol. I can write my Substack in bed in the morning with my flask of tea and realise I don’t feel guilty, even Humprey’s evil eye telling me to get up doesn’t disturb me, I am doing it my way.

The little achievements begin to take on more importance as we grow old, but I now realise they have should through all my life. As we grow old we have time to stop, stand back and say ‘I did that.’ Even if you are juggling 100 balls, if you achieve a little thing, finding a space and parking the car perfectly in one go or the kitchen floor is sparkling after 20 minutes scrubbing, you took five minutes to just sit, stand back for 10 seconds and say to yourself, I did it. That doesn’t mean that the bigger things don’t matter, like swimming in the sea in the arctic circle - definite respect from me on that one, or trekking in Thailand, the family holidays, wedding days, all these things are important to store in the memory bank, but they don’t happen every day.

My little things yesterday included standing in the pouring rain, sorting out the gridlocked traffic outside my home, putting together my new carpet spot cleaner , ok it’s not been used and writing for twenty minutes before having to retrieve Bonnie from the kitchen bin.

I am adding an embellished short story I wrote for a course last week, based on my experience of feeling smug having achieved a little thing last November. Eagle eyed readers may have read the unembellished version.

Two men carried it up the steps from the street through, the gate, stopping in front of the door. It was significantly bigger than it had looked online.

“No way it’s going through there love.”

“No chance.” The other one agreed making sure I got the point.

“Are you sure it won’t go through?” I looked towards my black front door, the small entrance hall and back again.

“Yes love.”

We all stood staring at it.

“Can you take it back?“

“No love.”

“I’ll just ring your office?”

“It won’t change anything love.”

I disappeared through the front door to get my phonr.

When I returned seconds later, there was it was all alone. I could hear retreating footsteps, followed by the slamming of doors, and a noisy diesel engine disappearing down the High Street.

“What now?” I asked the offending object. It didn’t answer.

I began angrily pulling at the outer plastic covering, another layer of plastic presented itself. Having battled with the first layer I got a Stanley knife from the cupboard. I cut through the second layer. I reached a layer of brown cardboard covered with the delivery company’s logo and labels. I battled the sturdy staples, expletives running excitedly through my head, waiting for me to release them into the air - mustn’t upset the neighbours. The staples gave way, I pulled out yet more packaging to reveal another layer of brown cardboard covered in supplier’s logos. I dispensed with this layer, plus all the packaging, with lightning speed revealing brightly coloured cardboard.

I stood back looking at all the plastic, cardboard and other detritus and realised it had shrunk.

“Now what?” I asked myself “Can I get it inside if I am careful?”

One hour later I am sitting in my front room watching my brand new 42-inch smart TV.

In reality there was only one exceedingly helpful young man who delivered my 43” TV into my front room and took all the outer packaging away. I my defence I did put it all together, rearrange the room on my own and lift the very light TV onto its final resting place. Very different from the clunky, and in my daughter’s words, mahoosive TVs of Radio Rentals days.

Prompts

What little things did you achieve yesterday?

How did they make you feel?

At the end of today list 5 little things you achieved?

What do you want to achieve tomorrow?

If you enjoyed this ramble and haven’t already please do subscribe and share with others. One of the little things is seeing my numbers go up 🤣