Taking a Break, Relaunch & Bits
I am off to indulge myself in pastels
I thought I should say au revoir for next week rather than just disappearing into the ether. I'm off on a soft pastel painting holiday tutored by an incredible artist, Tony Allain. I know I can never match the beauty and sheer brilliance of his art. In some ways knowing that helps my imposter syndrome. Tony Allain has so many years of experience and talent I couldn't even get near. There is no competition so I am hoping I will leave all that self doubt crap at home. I am really looking forward to having an expert artist show me how soft pastel painting is really done. If I produce one vaguely decent painting or just a tiny corner, I will be ecstatic and may even publish the result here when I get back.
Diversionary route
I should point out I am not talking about Rowntree Pastilles. They were my favourite sweets. I can feel the dark red one in my mouth. I would push it around my mouth with my tongue before I sucked off the sugar, and then finally, chewing the last tiny morsel. These thoughts made me wonder. Do they still exist? I slowly rambled off down the rabbit warren. I'm not in a hurry as I'm off on my holidays. At the first rabbit hole, I came across the Australian name change to Wonka Fruit Pastilles in 1988. I loved the name, hence the diversion. They are now vegetarian and vegan friendly as the gelatine has been substituted for something else. But, I doubt they are any better for your teeth.
The other bonus of my break is that the workshop is at my favourite hotel. I initially found The White House because of a secret for the week and trying to book Tony Allain's workshop for last year. I was unfortunately too late. The workshop was fully booked. Luckily, the hotel looked so lovely I decided to try a short spring break instead.
I have no nerves about going away this time and am genuinely looking forward to it. Not getting stressed is a new experience for me. Holidays/breaks have become synonymous with stress. I worry about getting there. Will I seem like a very odd person who should be avoided at all costs by all the staff and guests, etc. Yes, they may still see me as very bizarre, who knows, but they all make me feel very welcome. Even getting the dates wrong and only realising two weeks didn't put me in a spin/tiz.
It's incredible how the last few years have sometimes turned me into a gelatinous grey blob. But thinking about this break makes me feel a bit more me, a bit more like I used to be. Next year, I will get out from under my security blanket and go to Scotland for a more extended break, which John and I had planned to do. Ok, I may also have a short break at The White House.
Relaunch
I make it sound so grand, which it isn't. But if I am honest, you can't launch 🚀 anything in a rabbit warren, fox's den or even a badger set. I have changed my heading. I hope to do a specific post around Grief post once a month - dealing with endings and beginnings. Plus, once a month, a helpful toolkit for the getting old journey. The rest of the time, I will ramble whilst pondering random topics.
I would love to hear about things you have found interesting, helpful, total rubbish or just plain funny for my monthly old journey post. I am open, and they could include books, magazines, substack, podcasts, cars and other modes of transport, food, holidays & city breaks, utensils, wine, films, TV, jokes, art exhibitions, museums, gardening tips, and recipes. The list is endless. I would love it if you would consider being a guest writer/editor or collaborating with me on a post. Look at me; you don't have to have a SubStack publication or be a writer. Think of how much your grey cells would appreciate a new activity.
If you haven’t already please subscribe to my SubStack, it is lovely to know I am not talking to myself, and I am making sense and not barking from spending to much time my mad hounds. My posts are free to everyone.
Young lady, I am not pleased with the negative views of your capabilities. Who knows? If you toss out the negatives you may set yourself free to even outshine this man's work that you so admire.
When I joined Facebook when it was fairly new I had been unsure about the poor nature of my writing. Being an author was my dream since childhood.
As I collected FB friends, I reached more than 400, I became more relaxed with each conversation. I had started over with my story countless times without losing that uncomfortable feeling about how I was getting my thoughts across.
Then came Facebook. I became so relaxed discussing current events with like-minded people that one comment blew me away. That comment was 'eloquent'.
I had always tried to write my story without planning from start to finish first. Just recently I used the system of making a list of events I wished to elaborate on, dividing the events into separate decades of my aging process., BOOM! In no time I already had five handwritten pages of one-liners of memory bits to grow my authorship from. My dream was to have an article published in The Atlantic. Still not comfortable enough but getting there.
So, even if I don't make it all the way to publishing something before I croak, I'll know I had finally made it to the point of 'no self doubt '.
My opinion, Jo, is that perhaps you should start your climb to becoming another best artist in the world, discuss and display your work with like-minded people. You'll find that with each compliment your skills will improved until you reach the status of 'next best artist in the world '. Or,, you can ignore my advice and do it your way, like Frank Sinatra did.
Enjoy your trip, what fun. My mother took an oil painting class with friends through much of my childhood, really one of the only things I can think of her doing, just for herself. I confess I was never very impressed by her work in oils, but I love that my daughter has chosen to hang many of the paintings in her own home that had been in my attic after my father sent them to me (my mother died over 35 years ago)) But right near the end of her life, for some reason she shifted to water color, and I love the two pictures she did, simple, vases with flowers, that now hang in my dining room. Thanks for prompting that memory. Not sure I ever really thought about how this was her creative outlet, and she clearly loved doing it.