They say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks and as you grow old you become more entrenched in your views. If I am honest there is some truth in both those statements. At 67 years old I will not become a ballerina but that is because I am shrinking, I must be just at 5ft or just below with no legs just stumps, I started at 5ft 11/2 inches. I will never change my political leanings however life experience can effect our views. Aging had taught me to listen more openly to others views even if I do not necessarily agree. I may even change after a good discussion. I do wish I had the fire in my belly I used to have, I do feel it silently crackling but will often stay quiet, ok not often.
Where am I going with this weeks rabbit 🐇 warren? When I started thinking about change I thought if three questions. 1) Can I change? 2) What would I change? 3) Why would I change?
I'll start at number one, unusually organised for me. Can I change? Of course I can. I change all the time - retirement, widowhood, writing, increased anxiety, living alone, moving house - all of these are changes that affect me and change me. If I didn't change I wouldn't be here now. Some changes are forced on me and results in the sink or swim effect. Some changes are my choice such as writing and moving. These choices changed me too.
Moving is a good example. My way of life is very different to the one I would have had if I had remained where I was or moved into another area. I live a quieter life, one where I can be an eccentric old curmudgeon if I want to. I do wonder what the village think of me. I hope you get my gist in that garbled paragraph.
Secondly what would I change? I would add three inches onto my legs and win the Lottery, ok I am definitely going down the things you cannot change. What could I change maybe be a better question. I would like to be more organised - I do try - it is Monday and it looks like my Substack is going to be posted on the right day ✔️. Slight problem - it is unlikely to last. It has nothing to do with growing old I have always been disorganised, it’s the way my brain doesn't work. I haven't got any worse or any better with age. I want to be an organised writer. I want to sit at my desk with a candle gently flickering and smelling lovely - down to me - Operation Winter Project 2025, I'll let you know my progress.
Lastly, why change? One big difference as you age is why and for whom you change. A double edged sword this one. I wonder if the perception that older people aren't willing to change comes not only from other also from within us. Let me explain what I mean. As I grow older the changes I make are considered and often bound by experience, I can still be impulsive but with thought. As we grow older we consider change, we no longer see the point in change for changes sake. Are we conditioned not to believe we can change? In the reverse people can consider older people should change because they are old, why?
Yes, I enjoy discovering new technology, however, there are certain forms, TikTok for example I have no interest in pursuing. Not because I don't like change, I don't like TikTok and I don't have to use TikTok. I can chose not to use TikTok. Then there are changes where I have no choice. I am intrigued by AI, frustrated, yes it scares me. Not because I am old and stuck in my ways. I think through the changes. The positive ones - medical advancement, helping people with memory issues, replacing humans in dangerous unsafe jobs. Negative - the loss of our own independent thinking to solve problems and potentially creativity, massive and frightening implications - giving power to the few, advances in technology to kill people. I see both sides of the argument. I have, we all have been using AI for years, spell check etc. I know I cannot always chose where AI plays a part in my life but I should at least be able consider the implications without being accused of being old and unwilling to accept change.
On the reverse - why change for others? A big philosophical existential debate about being authentic, no I’ll leave that debate for another day. However on a more pragmatic level, I do not want to and will not go to certain groups because I have grey hair, a certain number of years under my belt and others decide it is my time. I know there are things where change is sensible to stop others worrying. Being more careful going up steps, being more careful generally and thinking about risks. No way would I now take Mildred and Humphrey out together on the lead. I now keep my phone on me when I am out even in the garden after falling and breaking my arm I know is sensible for my safety. That is a change for me I have to accept that with age my body is frailer, my minor balance problems can now cause more problems.
When I started this post I did a quick search and quickly ran out of the rabbit 🐇 warren after findjng this article ‘What Causes Agression in Elders?’, thinking that's a very negative viewpoint. Then I realised no it isn't for some the reality of growing old can have serious consequences that are not made by choice our bodies letting us down, loneliness, or dementia. I don't mean to end of a negative we need to remember growing old in itself is no reason not to change, yet should remember it is not easy for us all.
If you have made sense of this rambling mish mash of thought congratulations you have developed the ability to break through the unpenetrable Linney thought processes.
Remember age us not a barrier to change whatever age you are.
Prompts - I wonder which ones to use?
Think of five things you can change or would like to but feel you can't?
What would you change?
Why would you change?
How would you do it?
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"If you have made sense of this rambling mish mash of thought congratulations you have developed the ability to break through the unpenetrable Linney thought processes."
I found it quite easy to understand, Jo, as it's very similar to my own language/thoughts ~ I'm fluent in MadOldBattish :-D
Good morning Jo, I'm older than you and I'm choosing to change in my 60s because some of the thoughts, beliefs and behaviours I learned as a younger person no longer serve me in a positive way. The way I started this process was by reading, journalling and listening to podcasts, but as time goes on, I'm listening to myself! I'm choosing to change because I want to feel peaceful in my own skin and to trust myself. For decades, my need for validation from others ruled my life, but I'm slowly feeling more grounded in myself and care much less about other's opinions (of me). Have a peaceful and contented week and take care 😘😘